Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
