I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
