Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
