Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
