well I can't set my house on fire every night
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
