i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
