Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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