had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm determined to sit on that face.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
