It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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