one two three fourrrrnication!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
