Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
