He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
