She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I want her autograph on my taint
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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