ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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