..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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