my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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