Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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