I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i've created a new STD.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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