you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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