Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
