Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
