CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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