Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
