just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
