so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
