i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
