Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
