so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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