u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
