I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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