Your dad touched me again.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
