You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Drake has all the answers
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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