okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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