what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
