you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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