so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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