she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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