I CAN MOONWALK!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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