I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
