i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
