woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
