God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
