I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
