I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
