and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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