'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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