Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
