Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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