so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
love makes seman taste better
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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