I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
